MOTHER’S DAY 2017

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mom’s out there! There is something incredibly special about a mom and you get to be that person to someone in this world. I truly wish you a happy Mother’s Day. Mom’s are the strongest people on Earth. You do the best you can with what you have. You juggle more than any human should. Why isn’t there a mom super hero? There should be. To those who have a mom to celebrate with, give her an extra long hug, tell her all the things you want to share. Cherish the time with her and be grateful you have a mom to celebrate with.

Mother's Day Serein Wu

My last birthday with my mom, April 2016

To those without a mom to celebrate this year, I’m thinking of you today.

Because this is the first Mother’s Day without my mom, it has made me think a lot about Mother’s Day. Every morning I wake up to dozens of emails about Mother’s Day and what to buy my mom. How to find the perfect gift for mom. If only the perfect gift would bring her back. Facebook is inundated with my acquaintances planning to celebrate with their moms, who are becoming moms for the first time, second, and even third. The most heartbreaking for me, having their mom by their side while becoming a mom themselves. Sprinkle a few Mother’s Day Ads in between and I wonder how I’m still functioning. At first, I just ignored the ads, no big deal. They are just ads. But honestly, it’s wearing me down. I’m about to lose it.

TO ALL THOSE WHO HAVE LOST A MOM

I’m so sorry for your loss, I had no idea. I had no idea how callus the rest of the world is during this time of year. No idea how insensitive I was for the last 32 years. It’s not personal. The media, marketing, Facebook, and all of America is not out to get me. It just sucks. This is an unexplainable messing feeling.

My good friend recently lost her mom. She is the same age and part of me is comforted to know that she knows how I feel right at this moment. I never met my Mother In Law because Hubs lost his mom before we met. I know he understands this loss. Blessed to be surrounded by caring and understanding people during this time, it doesn’t change the process. It doesn’t change because my relationship was different. Each mother child relationship is unique therefore each loss is unique.

Mother's Day Grace Serein

DEALING

Most days I’m fine, most days, I laugh, I dream, I plan, but then there are these moments that come in waves. The sadness. Thoughts of things my mom won’t be here for. Things I can’t tell her directly. Selfishly,feeling that my safety net in life is gone.

Right after my mom passed away, I had to be in NY for The Fresh Sugar Lip Lover Summit. While I was there, Alina said “when you lose your mom, you’re no longer a little girl to anyone anymore.” She couldn’t have said it better. I’ve been an adult for awhile now, but I was always a little girl in my mom’s eyes. As frustrating as that was, there was comfort in it. She was always there to comfort me, to worry about me, to be there incase I fell. My mom was one of the reasons I was able to start my channel. I tried and failed at many things in life, but my mom was always there to help me pick up the pieces.

Grace Wu

My mother Grace

SO, MOTHER’S DAY

There are many things I want to say about Mother’s Day. I can’t seem to find all the words. Mainly, I am incredibly blessed to have had the relationship I did with my mom. It makes loosing her that much more painful, but I would not change a thing, except for more time. To those who have felt this loss, I’m sorry. There isn’t much I can say to you that will comfort you because there isn’t much anyone can say to me that will comfort me.

As I watch my friends become moms and raise tiny humans, I wonder if this is something I want for myself. Part of me cannot imagine being a mother without my mom here. Another part of me knows that I would never have felt ready to be a mom without having gone through all I did the last year and a half. I grew up because of my mom’s stroke. Losing her has aged me emotionally and mentally. I still don’t feel responsible enough to raise a child, but I also know if I had to, I could.

Watching all the mothers around me both intrigues me and terrifies me. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready, but I am thinking.

Are you a mom? Do you work too? How do you do it all?

Mother's Day Grace

My mom the ballerina

SUBSCRIBER GIVEAWAY WINNER: MAY

Each month I will be randomly selecting a newsletter subscriber as a winner. I’ve e-mailed May’s winner and she will receive a little surprise in the mail from me.

Congratulations to Sarah !

Stay tuned, I’ll be doing additional exclusive giveaway opportunities here in addition to monthly winners

DON’T FORGET TO FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM @SEREINWU for more giveaways!

MAY’S BOOKS

glass sword victoria aveyard

I finished Glass Sword, book 2 of the Red Queen series by Victoria Aveyard. The ending killed me and I cannot wait for book 3. Why do I keep finding unfinished series?! The wait is killing me. Book 3 of my favorite series A Court of Thorn and Roses was just released this past week. A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas and I’m just starting it today. DO NOT LEAVE SPOILERS FOR ME! If you haven’t read ACOTR, you need to! I mean seriously one of the best book series I’ve read in awhile.

I’m asked how I find the time to read with the schedule I keep. Truth is I don’t read very often anymore. Listing to audiobooks is how I manage to fit in “reading.” It’s sad because I use to read for hours. Probably better for my eyes that I don’t stay up till 6am finishing a book, but I still miss it. If I could just lock myself away in a cabin and read all my favorite books for a week, I’d be a happy woman.

If you’d like to try audible, here’s a free book. You’ll have to create an account and use a credit card, but you can cancel right after your first book (which is free) and keep the book. I personally love audible and pay for a membership myself as well as hubs. Oh another great thing is if you don’t like the book you can return it! No questions asked. I’ve done that a few times myself.

MISSED PAST NEWSLETTERS?

April’s Newsletter (password: arise)

March Newsletter (password: Grace)

January Newsletter (now public)

xoxo

Serein

90 Comments

  1. June 1, 2017 / 10:10 am

    Hi Serein,

    This is a very beautiful tribute to your Mom and it made me cry. It was hard to read, because I have been battling the idea of what will happen the day mom is gone…she is and has been my eyes to the world for a long time…she was there for me when I had my heart surgeries as a little child and as an adult…she had been there for me and with me thru all my ups and my specially my downs. I do talk to her everyday many times…she lives in Colombia and I live in Las Vegas, NV…it’s a little far away…
    So thank you for this post from the bottom for my heart.

  2. Ann
    May 24, 2017 / 4:58 am

    Be happy because of the loss, you realize how much someone means to you. Even though she’s not by your side anymore, it’s still great to be grateful.

    Highly recommend this book for you: Untethered Soul – Michael A. Singer

    I’ve been watching you on YouTube for almost a year. Thanks so much for the hard work you put out. It inspires me a lot to work on myself as hard as I can without having “big result” (I mean the massive number of audience). The greatness is within ourselves as we worked hard, we created it! That is SUCESS for me. And all thanks to you being yourself…

    Again, thank you so so much for dressing me happy 😘😘

  3. Michelle Kennedy
    May 21, 2017 / 5:42 pm

    Wow, Serein. This is solo incredibly touching and quite difficult to read without getting choked up n holding back the tears n the lump in my throat. You are such an amazing representation of so many women in society having gone through this very heartbreaking situation. You are full of grace and triumph! U inspire me so much. To pick up the pieces of your broken heart and move along w one foot in front of the other, even if it is robotic sometimes, is quite extraordinary! It shows your spirit and tenacity! Your will to survive and push through the dark days and nostalgia. I love that about you! You REALLY have something so special inside you! You are the REAL DEAL and I can’t wait to see where life takes you! I’ve been fortunate enough to b a very small part of your journey on YouTube and I see ur day to day life on IG n Snapchat and U r a remarkable woman! Your mother would be so proud to see your strength and perseverance! 🤗🤗😙😙

  4. Sahar
    May 17, 2017 / 9:11 am

    This made me think of my Mom and how much more time will God give us. I hope I still have time to show her how much I love her and appreciate having her in my life. It’s sad that I lived 18 years at her side being a child and not showing her enough love. I only came to realize all her hard work in raising me and my siblings after I had my own children. Raising kids is extremely tough and needs a lot of energy and you never know the outcome of all your hard work until these kids grow up into full adults. I hope I’m doing more good than bad for my kids future and well being.

  5. Tracey
    May 17, 2017 / 4:49 am

    This was a very touching article! I have not lost my mom in the true since of death, but I have not spoken to my family in 3 years and so I basically did lose my parents. I never had the loving close relationship that most people have with their parents anyway. I always felt like I didn’t fit in and that I was constantly doing something wrong to have them dislike me, but it took many years to realized it wasn’t me it was them. I have a wonderful husband, son, daughter-in-law, grandkids and extended family through my daughter-in-law that I love and adore and I feel like my life is complete. So to anyone that didn’t have the love and support of their mothers this Mothers Day; I say to you become the better person and love your children unconditionally!

  6. Ann
    May 15, 2017 / 11:12 pm

    Loved what you shared! Lots of memories of my Dad came flooding back as I read this because I was a Daddy’s girl. Sending (((hugs))) your way❤

  7. Gina
    May 15, 2017 / 6:51 pm

    Big Huge Huggs comming straight to you!💞 Life is one we sure can’t explain I never had a mom. My mom was my gramma she’s been gone 14yrs now. So you got love n prayers commin from Tennessee!!

  8. Tammy LaBonté Nale
    May 15, 2017 / 6:15 pm

    Serein, I can’t imagine the depth of your pain. I’m close to my mother & like you (well yes & no) I to this day ask my mom if she would like to come with us for anything. I know my days are limited as are all of us, so I don’t take anyone’s life lightly. Maybe from working in the medical field you see just how precious life is & how fast it can turn on a dime. I know the pain of losing my older brother who was a year and a half older. I know no one can ease the pain & I wish I could say in time you’ll be better because time heals everything. But what everyone doesn’t say time doesn’t heal you. It’s just different, like the ocean it comes and goes like the waves. I’m in total tears as I read this news letter and grateful for you showing her pictures and glimpses of your life and when she was here. Sending you the biggest hug 🤗, lots of love ❤️, and prayers 🙏🏽 To help you through the pain. I love you 😘

  9. Laura Romero
    May 15, 2017 / 5:44 pm

    I admire you so much Serein. You really put into perspective so many things. Stay strong. You are such a beautiful soul! Sending you hugs ♡

  10. Christine
    May 15, 2017 / 2:20 pm

    Thank you for this post. It brought me to tears.
    I’m sorry for your loss and I know that mother’s day must have been hard on you…. I remember how hard that first one was for me after I lost my mom to cancer 15 years ago. I was in my 20’s. Funny thing is, we weren’t even close but when mother’s day came around I always became an emotional mess. I would get sad that she wasn’t around for us to mend our relationship and then when I would see mothers shopping and laughing together with their daughters I would become envious of what they had and even angry that my mother had never loved me like that.
    As the years passed, it got easier… especially when I became a mom. I have a 10 year old who has brought so much joy to my life. Mother’s day had a completely different meaning after he was born. It didn’t trigger any sadness or anxiety… just the opposite in fact.
    Until last year that is.
    Last year, at the age of 40, I accidentally discovered a secret that would change my life as I knew it. A secret that no one had the courage to tell me. I discovered that I was adopted. It didn’t take long for me to find out who my birth mother was. Unfortunately, she had died a few years ago. So this mother’s day I was once again a mess. The ads on tv and social media almost broke me too. I was now mourning a mother I never knew existed… a mother I had never met… that I would never get to meet. After all these years, the sadness, anxiety and anger were here once again. No one in my life understands why I’m mourning the loss of a mother I had never met but every “little” girl wants her mother. No matter how old she is.
    Reading your post and the comments bellow gave me some comfort.
    Maybe we’re never supposed to get over it. Maybe it’s natural for it to come in waves and have some years be better than others. Maybe it’s okay to be a mess every once and a while. And maybe we should be able to have a good cry and let it all out. Being emotional is considered a weakness and that’s not okay. Being emotional doesn’t make us a mess, it’s what makes us human.

    • May 23, 2017 / 11:54 am

      Oh Christine, I’m so sorry to hear about this! Thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m so sorry that you found out so late and that you have to grieve all over again. I don’t think we get over it, I think we learn to keep going.

      Thinking of you,
      Serein

  11. Misty
    May 15, 2017 / 11:31 am

    I appreciate this post so much. Thank you for sharing and always being honest. There have been few others that help those without the loss of a mother understand the hurt that can come from such a day as Mother’s Day, and you did it in such a loving way.

    I can totally see you and your husband making amazing parents! I have one child, she is 10 years old. I had her when I was 17. It was difficult to say the least, but I have no regrets!! I love her and learn so much from her. Working full time adds to the plate, but it has always worked out. And remember, no one is ever prepared for a child, there is just no way! I encourage you to not let any fears stand in the way of such a blessing as a child in your guys’ lives, if that is what you want 🙂 I send my love your way! Thank you again.

    • May 23, 2017 / 11:53 am

      Hi Misty-
      Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts of becoming a mother. I think sometimes we think too much about it, but I also just feel like I became an adult. It’s nice to know that you really are never prepared for it.

  12. Molly
    May 15, 2017 / 10:49 am

    This newsletter was so touching. I lost my mom several years ago when I was about to graduate high school. We had a complicated relationship so there have always been good days and bad days when I remember her. This post is the first time I’ve really seen someone talk openly about how hard Mothers’ Day can be for people who have lost their mothers. You are such an inspiration in how open you are with subscribers.

    • May 23, 2017 / 11:52 am

      Hi Molly-
      I’m so sorry about your loss. Relationships with parents are always complicated. I can’t image all the emotions that go through losing your mom so young. My sister in law loss her mom around the same time as you, it’s hard enough to lose a mom, but to have to deal with it during one of the most emotional times in your life could not have been easy.

      Thinking of you.

      Serein

  13. Sarah Sanchez
    May 15, 2017 / 9:34 am

    A lovely, emotional post, loving the pictures with your mom. It’s true that there’s no much I could tell you to make you feel better or bring your mom back.
    All I can say is that everything happens for a reason (I know it sounds so harsh, sorry). Everything we go through marks our lives and help us grow, believe it or not. You’ll find a way to be a mom when the time comes. There’s always a perfect time for everything. I don’t know you, but I know the power of how mothers impregnate their love and kindness to their daughters. I can see you’re a very sweet and generous woman. I know you’ll be a great mom one day thanks to your mom.
    I honestly don’t know what I would do without my mother, she’s my everything. I also sort of know how you feel because my grandma is not here anymore and my mom tells me how she misses her so bad and how mothers are just our backbone.
    Keep strong, blessings are coming your way, may God help you find comfort and continue to be successful in your life.

  14. Amy
    May 15, 2017 / 9:31 am

    I lost my mother to pancreatic cancer in June 2011. I was 25 years old at the time. As the years past, honestly, Mother’s Day is the one holiday that still gets me down. As time goes on, you’ll learn what your triggers are and how to avoid and/or embrace them to grow. Personally, the greeting card section at stores was an easy trigger of sadness for me. Seeing all the pretty cards and “Happy Mothers Day” balloons and flowers made me CRY instantly for many years. The first time I tried to buy a card after my mom died, I saw the “Happy Birthday Mom” section and started having a panic attack. It was so bad that store management was called and they brought me into the employee break-room so I could calm down. They also wouldn’t let me leave the store alone and called my sister to pick me up. After that embarrassing moment, I purposely avoided the greeting card section. Then, three years ago, I wanted to make a change and become better with that area, so I purposely went into the aisle on a busy day and just stared at it. Eventually I was able to face that fear and now I don’t cry when I see the greeting cards anymore.

    However, all the Mothers Day ads still get to me after a while. I purposely avoid Facebook on Mother’s Day. Its too much to deal with.

    Time has really helped me with my anxiety. I wish the same for you.

    Cheers.

    • May 23, 2017 / 11:49 am

      Amy-
      Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m not sure what the exact triggers are just yet for myself. The repetition of ads I think is what really got me down this year. I haven’t even walked into a store with greeting cards yet. My mom loved cards, she would buy us one every year for our birthdays.

      I truly am grateful for your support and for sharing. It helps to know I am not alone.

      xoxo
      Serein

  15. Manuela Schmidt
    May 15, 2017 / 8:57 am

    Lovley Serein, i lost my mom on 20.12.2010. i have 4 beautyfull strong girls. I struggle some year more, some less. The process is slowly, but constantly. Something i’m scared: my memories of her smell, her sound of laughing, her voice… that’s fade … But she is deeply in my heart… early as drive at work and there is the moon or a shiny star, i know she sits there, watch me driving and waves her hand… beeing a workingmom is hard. But it is all worth it, because i’m able to pay checks, and they can be a part of any kind of vacation with theire school! And: my mom was a very hard workingmom too… so i think: that’s how the world rules. In reality- without Hollywood… Love you so much. Stay strong – you will get through this – with your head up high – stronger than befor. And yes – right now, you are a very strong person… because you still here, keeping the faith… lots of Love Manu from Germany (Leegebruch).

    • May 23, 2017 / 11:47 am

      Hi Manuela-

      Thank you so much for sharing.

      xoxo
      Serein

  16. Samantha Kiker
    May 15, 2017 / 8:11 am

    Reading this made me want to cry again. I know exactly how you feel on losing your mom, as I’ve stated before I lost mine at 15, but am lucky enough to still have my dad and a really great step-mom (even though she’s only been in my life for a short while). I swear to you that dealing gets easier as time goes by. I still miss my mom a great deal, and wish that she could have met her grandchildren (all of them!). I think that the most important thing is to remember that grieving goes differently for all of us, and to give yourself time to feel everything on the spectrum before you start to really deal with this loss. Feel it, live in it for a while if you have to, and then just try to remember the great days and times you had with your Mom. She wouldn’t want you to mourn for too long. You are such an awesome person, I hope that things get easier for you soon.

    • May 23, 2017 / 10:57 am

      Hi Samantha-

      Thank you so much for sharing your loss and how you’ve been dealing with it. It’s comforting to know I am not alone and I think recognizing the hurt and grief is important for all of us. Thank you!

  17. Barbara
    May 15, 2017 / 7:31 am

    This has to be the most rawest and hardest Blog I’ve read so far. You touch on so many points of loss, grief and fear. I have a loss but it’s not like one you mentioned.

    You said in the beginning to hug and tell your mom how much you love her. Oh that really cut me through the heart. I would I think if I could but I’m not really sure. I’ve lost her well I’ve been cast out, disowned whatever the phrase maybe. It’s been about 6 years and to know she’s just a couple of states over kills me. But she said what she said and that’s that, I can’t change a persons feelings or heart.

    You asked if we were Moms do we work? Very PROUD Mom of 4 and I did work for the Government since I was 18. I became disabled at 38 because of health problems. I had my first at the age of 17. You really truly are never prepared or ready to be a parent but once you hold and see that beautiful little life in your arms all of your fears and anxieties go out the window and you know what you have to do. It all just makes since. If you need help you just ask there is no shame in it. But this is a decision you and hubs have to make.

    I am truly hoping that you had somewhat of a good day and your Blog made me Blubber like a baby. Emotions I thought were gone just came fluding back. Sorry for the short story. XOXOXO

    • May 23, 2017 / 10:56 am

      Hi Barbara-

      I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. Thank you for sharing a part of your story and for telling me you’re a mom of 4! WOW! I can’t even imagine the strength you have.

  18. zahily
    May 15, 2017 / 6:29 am

    Such a beautiful post Serein. I’m really sorry for your lost. xoxo

  19. Zana
    May 15, 2017 / 12:40 am

    I’ve been very emotionally touched by this…..I lost my mother 6 years ago and i really feel that i became an adult that day…I lost the only person in this world who whatever i could say or do,wouldn’t hold a grunch to me….
    Here in Greece people say “A child gets orphaned when it looses its mother”….
    I stopped being the little girl….I lost my rock who was holding my whole world,even though i have a very happy family with two gilrs and a lovely husband…
    So i hold on this!
    I kept dreaming and living because i had to be the right example for my kids and because that’s the way of life!Children have to loose their mother eventually some time….We hope and pray this time to be as later as it gets!
    So everyone keep up the good thoughts and smile!!!!!!
    They are watching us no matter if they are here with us,or up in heaven!!!!!

    • May 23, 2017 / 10:52 am

      It’s so true about becoming an adult the day you lose your mother. I can’t fully explain it, but it’s true.

      xoxo
      Serein

  20. May 14, 2017 / 11:53 pm

    so emotional happy mother’s day serein

  21. nura
    May 14, 2017 / 11:51 pm

    so emotional happy mother’s day serein

  22. Erin
    May 14, 2017 / 10:30 pm

    I lost my grandma around the same time that you lost your mom. So it’s my dad’s first mothers’ day without her. Your post inspired me to do something special for the both of them. My grandma had this old oil lamp that we inherited, and I lit it for her in rememberance to honour her and her memory. So thank you for inspiring me and reminding me to think of my dad today not just my mom. I feel like our grief eased a little bit in taking a second to acknowledge how much we miss her and how special she was to us. She still deserves to be honoured today as a mother even if she is no longer around to see it. I also light a candle for you and your mom and all those who are missing their mothers today. Happy (bittersweet) mothers day. Please know that my thoughts and my prayers are with you and your family.

    • May 23, 2017 / 10:51 am

      Erin,
      This is so wonderful that you did that for your dad! I think it does help. It was so thoughtful. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for the support.

      xoxo
      Serein

  23. Kenia Suarez
    May 14, 2017 / 9:06 pm

    Thank you Serein for share your thoughts with your readers.
    I lost my mom 12 years ago. I was young, only 12yo, so now I have pass half of my life without her. At the begging i used to cry everynight asking me things probably I will understand later in my life. Trhu the years I have let my mom’s memory rest by trying to only remember the good times. Somethimes it’s really hard because we had a complicated life since she wasn’t way much older to my now when she passed away (she was 27yo)
    Nowdays I can just avoit the subject with no hurt reaction.
    Again, thank you for talk to all your readers who can’t really celebrate mother’s day with their mothers.
    I have asked myself the same: will I be a good mom? But with a different turn. I ask myself that because I have had a good example of what’s a good mother.
    5 years ago I meet a guy. He was… unexpected. Now I’m glad to have him in my life because he makes me fall that paternal love that I always wanned. He makes me feel safe and secure.At this time I’m pretty sure I want to be a mom. The kind of mom I would like to have.

    *sorry if I have made some grammar mistakes. I’m still learning

    • May 23, 2017 / 10:50 am

      Hi Kenia-
      I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your mom so young. Thank you for sharing your story.
      xoxo
      Serein

  24. Divya
    May 14, 2017 / 8:48 pm

    One of my favorite blogposts from you is this one. I still remember your snaps when your mom was sick and how she was in hospital. I am sure its not easy to loose someone especially a mother. Often we tend to forget the importance of a person in life when they are alive and this has happened to me. I lost my aunt last year who was very close to me. Until she was alive I would fight with her and sometimes talk to her very rudely. Now that she is gone I miss her so much I had so many things to tell her which I never did. My mom always tells me that when we loose someone close to us they become our guardian angels and are always with us. So I feel your mom is always with you maybe not here in person but she is always watching you from up there:) And Happy Mother’s Day to you from me and your dogs 🙂

    • May 23, 2017 / 10:48 am

      Hi Divya-
      Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. I know exactly how you feel. While I had a great relationship with my mom, I wasn’t always the kindest or appreciative while she was healthy. It’s not regret, because I know my mom knows how much I love her and do appreciate all she’d done for me, but it’s taught me to hold the ones I love closer now and to show them how much I appreciate them now, while I can.

  25. Jennifer T
    May 14, 2017 / 8:44 pm

    So truly sorry about your mother. I don’t know what it’s like to lose your mother in that sense, but I have a very strained relationship with mine because of a bad childhood and abandonment. Because of that Mother’s Day was always a hard holiday for me but has obviously completely changed since having my own daughter. I had her pretty young (23) and wouldn’t change it for the world- it’s really amazing what you can do and how you change when that tiny perfect little human looks at you. You would be an amazing mom if you should decide to be, and I’m sure that you’re mom will be present in everything that you do as a parent. 😘

    • May 23, 2017 / 10:46 am

      Father’s Day is a hard one for me. I have no relationship with my father. That’s so amazing to have your daughter. I kind of wished I had kids younger, now I’m at a point where I don’t know. Thank you for sharing. Wishing you the best!
      xoxo
      Serein

  26. Donita S
    May 14, 2017 / 7:50 pm

    Serein you speak from your heart….and it is beautiful! May God continue to bless you, & give you strength. Your mom can hear you, so speak to her. Her spirit will always be near.
    Regarding Children, trust me, the “Mother” in you kicks in when you see the little face for the 1st time! Wishing you all the best in all you do Serein!! Love & a big hug….to tide you over …for the moment!

  27. May 14, 2017 / 7:00 pm

    Hello Serein,
    You have a beautiful heart. Your words bring tears to my eyes​. I wish there was something I could for you. I really mean it. I am old enough to be your mother so a big part of me wishes that I could hug all the pain away. I keep you in my thoughts & prayers. And I send you gentle hugs & love to you. Thank you for sharing the beautiful pictures of your beautiful mom, Grace. ❤️

    • May 23, 2017 / 10:44 am

      Thank you so much Debbie
      xoxo
      Serein

  28. Jo Vee
    May 14, 2017 / 3:42 pm

    So beautiful, gave me goose bumps. You are strong. xo

  29. Anne
    May 14, 2017 / 1:06 pm

    This is a beautiful post. I love all the photos of your mom.

  30. Amirah
    May 14, 2017 / 11:57 am

    Serein, you are in my thoughts. This must be a very difficult day for you. *Hugs* My mother lives in a different country and I only see her on Skype. I haven’t seen her in person in about 3 years now. I miss her too much. When I was a child, I never took a moment to stop and think about how she did everything, that she did. Now I am a mom, I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old. I recently quit my job and hope to go back to it sometime soon. It is a very difficult job being a mum and there is a huge learning curve I feel. My husband is at work until about 7:30 pm everyday. So, I have to do a lot with my kids. I feel like I haven’t slept a single night in four years now! I do not have any help. I am unable to shower peacefully until the husband gets home. Sometimes, I wish I had some family here, who could, once in a while let me take a few hours of break (like my other mommy friends do.) I can tell you this much, I go to bed every night praying that tomorrow be easier on me 🙂 However, not matter what happens, how hard my days become, I look at my kids, their faces light me up and this helps to keep everything together and keep going!

  31. Stephanie
    May 14, 2017 / 11:57 am

    Wow , this is beautiful, I feel so much emotion from reading this!!!!

  32. Katie G
    May 14, 2017 / 11:49 am

    What a lovely, moving post. I’m thinking about you and sending peaceful vibes your way.

    Serein, on a different note I just got to meet Sarah J. Maas in person at a signing. She was such a genuine person, and she encouraged everyone to not let anyone stomp down your dreams. It is so easy to internalize a feeling of “I can’t do it” or “I’m not lucky enough.” All it takes is hard work! I just finished writing my own book and took inspiration from her amazing writing, so it was lovely to meet someone I admire and have a good experience. You know what they say about meeting your idols! Anyway, just thought I’d share this anecdote with you because you are also a fan of hers. <3

  33. Darlene
    May 14, 2017 / 11:37 am

    You are such a beautiful person! Thank you for being such an open and real person. I also know the pain of losing your mother. Life really does change and some days it’s hard to go on. My mom passed away years ago, when I was in my early 30’s and I am 56 now, and it’s still painful today, but it does get easier as time goes by. Take each day and live it to the fullest and keep the memories of her as close as you can. It does get easier, I promise.

  34. May 14, 2017 / 11:18 am

    Thank you so much for sharing a great story about you and your mom. I have two children and I understand how hard to be a mom is. But the children are bring joy to me. I know you mom looks down for you. She knew how much you love her and she’s too. Be strong and a big hug for you.

    Best wishes,

  35. Anya
    May 14, 2017 / 11:13 am

    You look just like your mom. I understand how u feel, is the same for me every Chirstmas or my Dad’s birthday… never had good contact with mom but Dad was both parents in one person for me, best person I’ve ever met.

  36. Amira
    May 14, 2017 / 10:54 am

    I am so sorry for your loss. I got so emotional reading this <3

  37. May 14, 2017 / 10:31 am

    Nothing prepares you for losing your mom, but take comfort in knowing that your mom loves you and you are not alone. Praying for peace to you and all others who are mourning their mom’s today.

  38. Mari
    May 14, 2017 / 9:48 am

    Thank you so much for articulating perfectly how many people feel during Mother’s Day.

  39. Mayra
    May 14, 2017 / 9:01 am

    Thank you for your words. I could not imagine my life without my mom. I have 2 boys and I always see her as my role model.

  40. Rubie
    May 14, 2017 / 8:32 am

    What an amazing post Serein, and one that I’m sure was not easy to write. I lost my mom when I was 10 on an Easter Sunday and I think I have been broken ever since. Nothing quite feels certain or safe when your world falls apart at 10 years old. I got married and have two kids but everyday I think about how different life would be if my mother were here. We are both lucky to have loving and supportive men in our lives and I wish you much strength, love and light on this day and anytime that you are missing her. I wish you to feel all of her love surrounding you during those difficult times. Be well Serein and thank you for continuing to share your life and light with us all. ❤️

  41. Jen schrock
    May 14, 2017 / 8:21 am

    Serein your mom is always with you. When i lost my mom on Christmas day i knew muy life would never be the same again. It made me want to spend every moment with my children and cherish every memory not only that my mom and i shared but what my children can make and share. Thank you for sharing your story about your mom. She was a beautiful woman and you look just like her. It was emotional to read but in a great way! Thank you for these newsletters.

  42. Esther
    May 14, 2017 / 8:08 am

    I lost my mom three years ago. My mother had three Hebrew names Malka Devorah Sima which means queen bee treasure. My mother definitely epitomized her name. I hope that in the future I can celebrate Mother’s Day as a mom to a little girl named after my mother and to give her love as my mother did to me. I know when that happens my mother will be looking down at me with so much pride and love.

  43. barb ung
    May 14, 2017 / 8:02 am

    💖😔

  44. Diana
    May 14, 2017 / 8:01 am

    I have also lost my mother and it still hurts and saddens me after 6 years and I am still waitung for it to get better 🙁
    you words are ver precious thank you Serien
    Love you Diana

    • May 23, 2017 / 10:44 am

      Sorry to hear about your loss Diana. I don’t think it get’s easier, we just learn to live with it.

      xoxo
      Serein

  45. Magdalena
    May 14, 2017 / 7:48 am

    It was beautiful. I have tears in my eyes. I am mom of two little girls and you remind me how important I am for them. Every day looks the same (washing, cleaning) and I forgot about it.

    • May 23, 2017 / 10:43 am

      You are so much more than just the washing and cleaning. You are their everything. Hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day

  46. Jena Penrod
    May 14, 2017 / 7:37 am

    I lost my mom in August so this is my first Mother’s Day without her and it just sucks no better word for it. I now have my daughter who is 21 so she is in the stage of she knows everything and doesn’t need me. I hope that passes soon. I just have a pretty empty feeling today. Going to do my best to keep myself occupied and get thru the day. Prayers for all that are going thru this today. Try and have a good day.

    • May 23, 2017 / 10:43 am

      Hi Jena-
      I promise the stage she’s in will pass, usually by the mid 20’s. I remember that stage very clearly. Thank you for all the support. I’m so sorry that you are also going through this first with me.

      xoxo
      Serein

  47. Camille Carter
    May 14, 2017 / 7:28 am

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. Thank you for sharing the pictures of your beautiful mom, you look just like her. You’ve been in my thoughts this weekend but especially today. Sending prayers of strength and healing your way and also lots of hugs. ❤️

    • May 23, 2017 / 10:42 am

      Thank you Camille for all the support!

  48. May 14, 2017 / 7:25 am

    Such a beautiful post commemorating your gorgeous mama! Thanks so much for sharing so much of your heart, Serein! Sending you SO. MUCH. LOVE!

  49. May 14, 2017 / 6:53 am

    What a great piece Serein!! I teared up while reading this. I can feel your pain through this piece and I am so sorry you are hurting!! I just want to say I think you would be an amazing mother!!

  50. Riham hamed
    May 14, 2017 / 6:50 am

    That got me into tears ❤

    • May 23, 2017 / 10:41 am

      Thank you for taking the time to read.

      xoxo
      Serein

  51. Kudzai
    May 14, 2017 / 6:35 am

    What a wonderful and thoughtful piece Serein. Losing someone you love, especially a mother is never easy. This is always a reminder to love our loved ones to the fullest whilst we still have them with us. I’m not a mom and sometimes think I will never become one. It’s a terrifying thought to me. Seeing my mother balance it all gives me hope though. Xx

    • May 23, 2017 / 10:41 am

      Thank you for taking the time to read. I don’t know how moms do it, I really don’t.

      xoxo
      Serein

  52. May 14, 2017 / 6:30 am

    This was a beautifully written post. I’m sorry you are hurting. Many of us have a hard time with Mother’s Day. I remember crying in the middle of a restaurant because I was in the middle of my infertility journey. I hated that day and I hated that everyone assumed we all had moms or children. So I always think of those people who’ve lost their babies or children, who’ve lost their mom, who may never have the child they wish for. This day is not easy for millions of people. Thank you for letting us in and sharing this part of your life, that can’t be easy either. Hope you can honor your mom today and get through it, even if it means sleeping all day. ❤️

    • May 23, 2017 / 10:40 am

      It’s so true. I know a few who are trying to conceive and how scary and sad it can be. I also have known mothers who lost a child. While I understand the marketing, I just wish people would be a bit more sensitive or aware. Thank you for taking the time to read this post. Wishing you the best!

      xoxo
      Serein

  53. Rosanne Zuniga
    May 14, 2017 / 6:27 am

    I understand how you feel because I’ve been without a mom for almost 12 years and it sucks! I do have my mother in law but its not the same. I miss being able to just go and sit by her side and cuddle with her and laugh at her made.up English words! But I wish I could say that it gets easier throughout the years but it doesn’t you just get stronger. I am a mother of 3 and my kids do celebrate my day but I still can’t get used to not having my mother around. Stay strong Serein! ❤

    • May 23, 2017 / 10:38 am

      Thank you for your honest comment. I do think we just learn to live with it and missing my mom’s made up English or sayings is something I wish I had on tape! She said the craziest things.

      Hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day.

      xoxo
      Serein

  54. May 14, 2017 / 6:27 am

    Your mother, in her youth, was such a beauty! And you truly have that youthful beauty as well. Have a great day.

  55. Luanne S
    May 14, 2017 / 6:27 am

    This is a beautiful tribute to your mom. You’re in my prayers.

  56. Sharmain Tang
    May 14, 2017 / 6:26 am

    I’m sure it still hurts thinking and missing your mom and I want to send you lots of love and strength!
    My family is intact but unfortunately, I spent my entire life growing up being very distant from my family and so I’m not one to celebrate Mothers Day/Fathers Day.

    Your mother looks amazing in the photograph and I can see the resemblance! You really take after your mother! I hope that on days when you miss her, you can look at your reflection and see her in you!

    Also, don’t feel the need to have to become a mom if you’re not ready. People around me kept asking when I’ll have my own kid and just like you, I don’t feel like I’m ready. Being a mother is not easy and seeing all the mothers in the world and what they do for their kids, I really am in awe! (and maybe jealous too!)

    Also, you can consider reading “The Sword of Shannara” Trilogy (which is complete!) if you like adventure & supernatural genre!

    • May 23, 2017 / 10:36 am

      Hi Sharmain-

      Thank you so much for all your love and support. Your words really bring me comfort. Unfortunately I have no relationship with my father or most of my relatives. Sometimes the family you make and choose for yourself is better. I am lucky to have had the relationship I had with my mom and my siblings.
      Your thoughts on motherhood and mothering are exactly mine! It’s good to know I’m not alone in these feelings.

      I’ll have to check out the trilogy! Thank you for the recommendation 🙂

      xoxo
      Serein

  57. Shanel Raine
    May 14, 2017 / 6:24 am

    I got so emotional reading this.
    💗

    • May 23, 2017 / 10:31 am

      Hi Shanel,
      Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.
      Serein

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