Happy Mother’s Day to all the mom’s out there! There is something incredibly special about a mom and you get to be that person to someone in this world. I truly wish you a happy Mother’s Day. Mom’s are the strongest people on Earth. You do the best you can with what you have. You juggle more than any human should. Why isn’t there a mom super hero? There should be. To those who have a mom to celebrate with, give her an extra long hug, tell her all the things you want to share. Cherish the time with her and be grateful you have a mom to celebrate with.
My last birthday with my mom, April 2016
To those without a mom to celebrate this year, I’m thinking of you today.
Because this is the first Mother’s Day without my mom, it has made me think a lot about Mother’s Day. Every morning I wake up to dozens of emails about Mother’s Day and what to buy my mom. How to find the perfect gift for mom. If only the perfect gift would bring her back. Facebook is inundated with my acquaintances planning to celebrate with their moms, who are becoming moms for the first time, second, and even third. The most heartbreaking for me, having their mom by their side while becoming a mom themselves. Sprinkle a few Mother’s Day Ads in between and I wonder how I’m still functioning. At first, I just ignored the ads, no big deal. They are just ads. But honestly, it’s wearing me down. I’m about to lose it.
TO ALL THOSE WHO HAVE LOST A MOM
I’m so sorry for your loss, I had no idea. I had no idea how callus the rest of the world is during this time of year. No idea how insensitive I was for the last 32 years. It’s not personal. The media, marketing, Facebook, and all of America is not out to get me. It just sucks. This is an unexplainable messing feeling.
My good friend recently lost her mom. She is the same age and part of me is comforted to know that she knows how I feel right at this moment. I never met my Mother In Law because Hubs lost his mom before we met. I know he understands this loss. Blessed to be surrounded by caring and understanding people during this time, it doesn’t change the process. It doesn’t change because my relationship was different. Each mother child relationship is unique therefore each loss is unique.
Most days I’m fine, most days, I laugh, I dream, I plan, but then there are these moments that come in waves. The sadness. Thoughts of things my mom won’t be here for. Things I can’t tell her directly. Selfishly,feeling that my safety net in life is gone.
Right after my mom passed away, I had to be in NY for The Fresh Sugar Lip Lover Summit. While I was there, Alina said “when you lose your mom, you’re no longer a little girl to anyone anymore.” She couldn’t have said it better. I’ve been an adult for awhile now, but I was always a little girl in my mom’s eyes. As frustrating as that was, there was comfort in it. She was always there to comfort me, to worry about me, to be there incase I fell. My mom was one of the reasons I was able to start my channel. I tried and failed at many things in life, but my mom was always there to help me pick up the pieces.
My mother Grace
SO, MOTHER’S DAY
There are many things I want to say about Mother’s Day. I can’t seem to find all the words. Mainly, I am incredibly blessed to have had the relationship I did with my mom. It makes loosing her that much more painful, but I would not change a thing, except for more time. To those who have felt this loss, I’m sorry. There isn’t much I can say to you that will comfort you because there isn’t much anyone can say to me that will comfort me.
As I watch my friends become moms and raise tiny humans, I wonder if this is something I want for myself. Part of me cannot imagine being a mother without my mom here. Another part of me knows that I would never have felt ready to be a mom without having gone through all I did the last year and a half. I grew up because of my mom’s stroke. Losing her has aged me emotionally and mentally. I still don’t feel responsible enough to raise a child, but I also know if I had to, I could.
Watching all the mothers around me both intrigues me and terrifies me. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready, but I am thinking.
Are you a mom? Do you work too? How do you do it all?
My mom the ballerina
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Congratulations to Sarah !
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I finished Glass Sword, book 2 of the Red Queen series by Victoria Aveyard. The ending killed me and I cannot wait for book 3. Why do I keep finding unfinished series?! The wait is killing me. Book 3 of my favorite series A Court of Thorn and Roses was just released this past week. A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas and I’m just starting it today. DO NOT LEAVE SPOILERS FOR ME! If you haven’t read ACOTR, you need to! I mean seriously one of the best book series I’ve read in awhile.
I’m asked how I find the time to read with the schedule I keep. Truth is I don’t read very often anymore. Listing to audiobooks is how I manage to fit in “reading.” It’s sad because I use to read for hours. Probably better for my eyes that I don’t stay up till 6am finishing a book, but I still miss it. If I could just lock myself away in a cabin and read all my favorite books for a week, I’d be a happy woman.
If you’d like to try audible, here’s a free book. You’ll have to create an account and use a credit card, but you can cancel right after your first book (which is free) and keep the book. I personally love audible and pay for a membership myself as well as hubs. Oh another great thing is if you don’t like the book you can return it! No questions asked. I’ve done that a few times myself.
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