This blog post is about our unconventional covid baby shower during Covid-19
Thank you to The Langham Pasadena for having us for our private covid baby shower. We celebrated on October 10th, 2020
Ever since we decided to try to conceive seriously, I started to think about all the milestones we’d have to celebrate a pregnancy and prepare for our baby’s arrival. These celebrations in my mind were like rewards for reaching a new level of pregnancy and getting closer to becoming parents. Covid-19 has robbed us of a lot of the traditional ways to celebrate.
Finding out you’re pregnant during a worldwide pandemic is less than ideal. With shutdowns, fear, uncertainty, and all the stress that 2020 has brought on all of us, adding a first pregnancy was not ideal.
Now add a serious amount of prenatal depression and having my doctor's office close a week before my third trimester with no notice (full video HERE), you can imagine I was in a fragile state of mind.
CANCELING ALL BABY SHOWERS
Because the grief of losing my mom is still new, a lot of emotions came up when I found out I was pregnant. Grief that I thought I had dealt with began to surface up. The isolation of this grief paired with pregnancy and sprinkled with Covid-19 became too much.
When we began to try and plan a covid baby shower for ourselves, the cost, logistics, and honestly selfishness of our friends and family was just too much. It was the last straw that sent me into a deep depression for weeks.
This was supposed to be a fun celebration for our baby, but it became anything, but. So I canceled any plans for a baby shower covid safe or not. It wasn’t worth it and people didn’t seem to care either way.
It’s hard to explain or describe how depression works, how I experience it, and what I need during the worst of it.
I can tell you I don’t need toxic positivity or to be asked “why are you depressed?” In fact I think most who deal with depression can tell you these are two things no one wants to hear when depressed.
Depression is a silent killer. It’s like mental Jiu Jitsu with yourself and it’s sometimes crippling. The worst is the stigma that still surrounds depression and mental illness.
People say they want to help, but when it comes down to it, they don’t really want to be bothered or cannot comprehend what someone else is going through. The worst is the toxic positivity or when someone tries to relate to your current struggles by comparing their struggles.
A PRIVATE CELEBRATION
Living with depression for me can be best described like the ocean. Sometimes it’s calm, there are small ripples, manageable boogie board size waves, then there are those moments where the sky opens up a black hole and the waves seem to want nothing to do, but to destroy everything in site.
My pregnancy has been rough waters since the second trimester. After the worst of it where I couldn’t get out of bed for a week, I was slowly picking myself up. Fragile, but managing.
Chris had been trying to do everything in his power to help me recover. He just wanted me to be happy and we were both worried about the baby.
When discussing what I was going through Chris mentioned that he has witnessed these severe episodes with me about 3 times in 10 years. He says they tend to happen every few years and it’s always been hard, but this time with me carrying our baby, it was the hardest. We were both concerned for our baby’s health.
MY DREAM COVID BABY SHOWER
He took my Dream Baby Shower Pinterest Board and started to plan a private covid baby shower for just the two of us.
Chris hired an amazing florist and showed her my Pinterest board. The two of them mapped out the hotel room he booked and created the most beautiful floral display. He even ordered a naked cake from our favorite bakery and had the florist add flowers to the top.
It was beautiful and exactly how we were meant to celebrate our baby. We’ve always been partners in every way and preferred each other's company. So it seemed fitting that we had more time together and just relaxed thinking of our little girl's arrival.
While the circumstances that brought us to having a private shower weren’t ideal, I’m happy it happened this way. I’m not sure I could handle groups of people right now, even small groups.
We had a beautiful suite at The Langham Pasadena, one of our favorite hotels in Los Angeles. It seemed fitting to spend such a milestone here.
Flowers By Alicia did all the floral arrangements
Our cake was from Susie Cakes one of our favorite bakeries.