There’s only 41 days left before I am a Mrs. I am checking things off my list of things to do and trying to stay focused on living a healthy, full, and productive life. Sometimes when I stop and look around I get a little panicky. I try not to have too much free time these days because it can cause anxiety and some depression on my part. Then last night, during my yoga class my teacher said, “Before we self diagnose that we are depressed or insecure, look around, maybe you’re just surrounded by assholes.”
Now I don’t think you should blame your problems on others or not take responsibility for your actions, but there’s truth to her statement. Sometimes no matter how hard I work and what I do, I feel yucky at the end of the day or something just makes me feel bad. I try to stay positive and I try to fix the situation instead of dwelling on it. But today, for example, when I was leaving the bank, I put my car in reverse and started to back up when this woman pulled up behind me. I stopped, but she proceeded to honk at me, not just one honk, multiple honks. I got really angry. I actually almost did an inappropriate hand gesture. I was already backing up and she was the one speeding behind me, wanting the spot next to me.
I started to feel guilty because I really shouldn’t be that upset, but I think this is a case where I was surrounded by an asshole.
What really frustrates me is when people don’t take responsibility for their actions. Now if I had kept backing up and had not made eye contact with the woman or didn’t see her, which I admit has happened in the past, then I take responsibility, please do honk at me to prevent an accident.
It’s the same thing when I’m at a light trying to make a right turn and the car behind me honks. Really?! Usually if I’m not going it’s because there is a pedestrian crossing the street. The car behind me can’t see, but they are so impatient that they have to rudely honk. Some times, I get spiteful and will wait even longer just to irritate the guy behind me, but then that makes me the asshole.
Be responsible for your actions. Do everything you can to live a good, healthy, and productive life. Everything is going well in my life. I’m happier then I’ve been in years, I feel like I have a purpose, though at times I’m stressed out of my mind. Everything I can control is under control, but I still occasionally get that icky feeling. I’m just now realizing that that icky feeling isn’t always something I did or didn’t do, it’s from the assholes around me.