I have to be honest, while I try to remain positive and motivated, last week was difficult. You might have noticed the lack of blog posts and if you follow me on snapchat (sereinwu) my anxiety confession. In my recent Q&A video, I explain a lot about my history. Without going too much into it and still keeping a bit of privacy, I was abused on and off for most of my life. Admitting this is difficult. For so long I didn’t want to use that word or admit it. With a few ghosts that refuse to stay dead, constantly trying to push back into my life, I’ve had to evaluate my thoughts and emotions lately. The situation is complicated and messy. The problem about admitting I was abused, is I feel like it’s not real. So much of my problems come from those around me saying I am being dramatic or overly emotional. It was always my fault. It wasn’t until I was in a healthy adult relationship, married, and removed from the situation that I was able to see what I had experienced was actual abuse. I’m not sure my husband even knew the extent of it till more recently.
This post is not about my history, but I wanted to give you a little insight as to where I am coming from. Many questions sent in recently was about how I stay positive and motivated. While I do my best to give you tips on how I keep going, I want you to know I am not alway positive or motivated. I am not always happy, and I am definitely not perfect. I have my demons and I am constantly trying to slay them. Social media is a perception. You only see what we want to share with the public. I’m pretty open with my followers, but I do hold some things back. The content I share with you is alway meant to inspire and motivate. I share with you my history, because I’ve learned that saying silent isn’t the answer. We all have our struggles. It’s about finding a way to keep going.
I want to build a community of strong, supportive, women. It’s not about the numbers. While it’s nice to grow and with growth, new opportunities, what really keeps me going everyday is this community. Many of you have shared your stories with me and I am honored you feel confident in doing so. People get so caught up with how many followers someone has, how many likes, who do they hang out with. While numbers are important on a business level, it should not stop us from supporting each other. I truly feel like I have some of the best readers and viewers around!
Sometimes a pretty picture can cheer up your day, but today I want to write about how focusing on building this wonderful community has kept me going even during the worst moments. I defiantly take time to unplug and mope, but after a day or so, I itch to come back. Why am I drawn to creating new content and responding to as many comments as possible? Because without you, I don’t know where I would be today. When I say YouTube and blogging saved my life, I am being honest.
I started blogging almost 4 years ago on blogger. It was a way to document my engagement and share some cellphone photos. Really an online journal. Through blogging I discovered YouTube, then rediscovered blogging and the possibilities of blogging. The few readers I had were supportive and I felt like I made friends from all over, who wanted to just communicate. Through the years, I have met other bloggers who I admire and were so gracious and supportive. Without my blog, I would not have this amazing community of women to share my thoughts with. There is something very powerful in writing down your thoughts, even more so when someone reads them.
Lately on top of all that I’m personally dealing with, I have noticed a not so pleasant trend with the blogging community. The snobbery. The entitlement. The idea that one person is better than another. Let’s be completely honest, everyone had to start somewhere. Unless you had someone who knew about blogging guiding you from the start, most likely your first posts and designs were not perfect. Everyone deserves a chance. Everyone deserves support. Creating content and putting yourself out there is hard work. No one should discredit it. If you don’t like a photo’s esthetic, don’t follow, but do not put them down, exclude, or discredit what they are doing.
I’m not sure if it’s getting older, dealing with an aging parent, or something else, but lately I’ve become incredibly intolerant over this superiority thought process. Life is too short. There is room for all of us to do what we love and to share the success. We are stronger together.
Recently, I was asked to join a group of bloggers to support each other and was thrilled at the opportunity. I’m so happy I said yes, no questions asked. This group opened up my community and support system. I met new women I would have not otherwise. I was also blown away at how committed each woman was to their content and to supporting each member of the group. It was mutually beneficial to everyone. During this time, I was dealing with some major anxiety attacks, but I looked forward to each new post from each women in the group. It was a lifeline.
After a few weeks, I wanted to start a group myself to encourage and support each other. Spread the love. It was scary. I wasn’t sure how people would react. would anyone even want to join? I know bloggers can be picky, but I was overjoyed that within the first hour I had 9 members in the group! For starters I was hoping to join together 15 women of varies blogs, esthetics, and regions. 15 seemed like a manageable number for all of us to get to know each other. I reached out to about 20 or so and by the end of 2 hours I had gotten 14 members no questions asked. There were a few who wanted a list of who was joining before they would join, which makes me a little hesitant to have them in the group. To me that’s a big red flag. This group is solely in existence to support each other, there are no following or subscriber requirements. So to ask for the list of bloggers, seemed wrong especially when there were so many willing to participate. It’s not a precedent I want to set for my first blogging group. It just really saddened me. I struggled with this decision. At first I thought I should accommodate the requests, but when I realized that these requests were not the majority, but the minority, I decided to go with my gut.
If you’re having a rough time, my biggest advice is to find a community. Make sure you feel safe, supported, and valued. You might not find it right away, but if you stay true to yourself and open to it, your community will show itself to you. You never know, the girl you went to collage with who you thought was a total snob, who intimidated, and didn’t like you, could end up being your closest best friend 6 years later. True story!
If you have a blog, please leave it in the comments because I would love to visit. If you don’t have a blog, but have been reading this, thank you! Thank you to all those who have stuck around and continued to support me. You truly have changed my life for the better.
xoxo
Serein
Dress from Zara (in store)
Shoes (Chanel)
You are incredible! Such a strong woman, and so honest and genuine. I’ve only been blogging for over a year, and although I still do it mostly for myself, I would love to connect with other like-minded bloggers. If you ever open up a group sometime in the future, I would love to join in! Thanks so much for the positivity!
Happy 4th!
Lisa
http://www.theeverydayelevated.com
Author
Hi Lisa-
Thank you so much for stopping by and reading! I really appreciate it and it’s so lovely to hear from you and know that you would like to join a positive and supportive group! I am actually looking into how best to start a FB group for bloggers to support and share their posts with each other 🙂 Please find me on FB and add me, so I can let you know when the group is formed!
very nice
http://www.CARECAVE.com
Author
Thank you xoxo
Thank you so much for opening up even more to us!!! Being vulnerable can really be a great and powerful thing because it is therapeutic for you and sharing your story can help people. I absolutely love this post. I totally agree with you about finding our own community. It is so important for people to feel secured and valued. Finding your place in this big world is definitely not easy but with a community of people supporting you makes it much easier. I still have not found mine but I can not lose faith. I have to believe that better days are coming. I have to add that I love your outfit lol. It is so classy and simple. The makeup really looks great paired with the outfit.
http://www.endlesslyblossoming.com
Author
Thank you so much for taking the time to ready and comment Jackie! It’s so important to find a community or platform to just speak your mind and share. Thank you so much for supporting! Hope you find yours soon.
So sorry to know that and thank you for being opened 🙂
I admire your strenght and courage ♥
I believe you will always be better in the future life 🙂
Author
Thank you so much Arinda!
You look so beautiful!
Rachel | http://www.seashellsandsparkles.com
Author
Thank you so much Rachel!
I love how honest and pure this post is. Writing also helps me express myself and it feels amazing that there are people who are listening. I also agree when you pointed out that building a community and having a support system is crucial, not only in blogging but life in general. I’m so blessed to have supportive family and friends. I’m happy that you found a community! I hope to have one in the future X
Elle // laorcabella.com
Author
It is so true Elle, you are lucky to have a personal community that is loving and supportive. Thank you for taking the time to read my post. It really means so much!
Such a wonderful and thoughtful post! Thanks for opening up girlie.
XO, Jessi
http://www.mywhiteT.com
Author
Thank you so much for reading Jessi xoxo
You’re really brave for being so open about such a personal topic. Sometimes I feel like bloggers get caught up in the numbers and we forget that every one of those followers are real people who are going through real challenges every single day. Although you had many struggles in the beginning of your journey I’m so glad your story has a happy ending! Sometimes it’s hard to find supportive people within the blogging community but I’m glad you found a special group you can count on. Hopefully, someday I’ll find a positive friend group like you.
Sierra Berry | @itsberrystylish
Author
Thank you Sierra, I try to remember that my struggles are not just mine. Whenever I share something on here or on my channel, so many of you guys tell me your own similar struggles. I think it helps to know we are not alone. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment.
Hi Serein, I just found your blog as I follow you on IG and YouTube. Thank you for sharing all of these wonderful stories for me to read when I’m down. I’m also a wife and a mama of 1 and not only am I a wife but I’m a wife of a physician. It can be hard sometimes, more often than not. High expectations are real and never go away. I would love to have some kind of blog or journal but I would only want myself to see it. I have a very nosey family so I don’t think a public blog would be the best decision. How do I get a blog like this but for only me to see and or read/write? Yours truly,
Katie Hares, RN.
Author
Hi Katie-
You an always set up a blog under an alias and not tell anyone in your personal life about it. That’s how mine started. You can also use Blogger and just create one and not make it public. There are lots of ways.There is power in writing and sharing with the world, but I underhand it might be easier to use an alias for this.
You’re brave even though there are moments that you don’t feel so, thank you for opening up and I hope it does help and motivate others who are going through some rough patch to brave through with life. I think there are many of us who went through darkness in their life but the differences are we decided to pick ourselves up and not stay down. I agree and I know those demons that you’re talking about. I’ve put my past behind me as best as I can but sometimes when I am alone, the demons creep back in and I have to remind myself to look forward and not let the past haunts me again.
On to your group, congratulations for making your dream come true and I hope your group will be filled by supportive and inspirational people. You’re right to ignore the minorities that are so concerned about who’s who, why would that even matters baffles me.
Shireen | Reflection of Sanity
Author
Thank you Shireen! I was so excited that I got the 15 to join, but then more wanted to join in. The site won’t let me add more, so I am thinking of making a FB group for bloggers, come one come all! I hate when I wasn’t able to add anymore, especially when more wanted to join. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, sometimes I wonder if I’m alone in my way of thinking.
Love the whole look!
xx
Xin
http://xincerely.blogspot.com
Author
Thank you xoxo
Really such a beautiful read! I am so sorry you were going through all those emotional scars. You are such an inspiration and there’s someone here who canl benefit or feel inspired from your story; I know I have. Thank you for opening up and sharing this piece of you. Sending lots of hugs and love. May God continue to bless and guide your path! xo 🙂
Ann-Marie – http://facetocurls.com/
Author
Thank you so much Ann-Marie! It truly means so much to me that you took the time to read and comment on this post.
Serein, you are such a beautiful person inside and out. Whether you feel you are somedays or not you are a positive inspiration too.
As someone who has suffered with depression and anxiety I think it’s amazing that you talk so openly about it and that you mention self love in every video that you do.
I’m sure a lot of people watching your videos or reading your blog have been effected by your positive words.
You’re doing great things to help people!
Sending lots of love your way,
Jordana
Author
Thank you so much Jordana! Sometimes It’s so scary to put things out there, but I know that for me it helps a lot to know I am not alone.
Serein, you’re such an inspiration! <3 While my story is a little different, I truly feel like blogging/youtube saved me as well!
Kisses,
Sarah
EverydayStarlet
Author
Thank you Sarah! I’m so happy to have met you through blogging!
This was such a touching story Serein, thank you for opening up and sharing this with us. There is something about you that made me want to follow you on youtube and your blog. I think your honesty, sense of gratitude and willing to help others is that ‘something’. Sending tons of positivity and hugs to you!
P.S: Those are beautiful photographs of you!
Author
Thank you so much Kay! I really appreciate your support xoxo
I attempt to blog but I find between my chronic pain and illness and trying to feel normal it gets left to the wayside. I’ve found my only blogging is a post on Instagram and lately even that has been too much now that my dog Stella is very sick with cancer.
Thank you for being brave and opening up. I find it helps others be braver about opening up their lives. At least it does that for me.
I agree about the friendship thing. You really never do know. I think I often get interpreted as being snobby when actually I’m just painfully shy and awkward even at my age now.
Much love Serein <3
Author
Charli I’m so sorry to hear about your dog! I am praying for both of you. Sometimes sharing helps so much! Also agree about friendships. So many of the friends that I consider my closest, are the ones I never thought I’d still be friends with or never wanted to be friends with. Odd right?! Sending you healing thoughts.
This is an amazing read. Thank you for opening up. I like your advice on finding a community that supports each other. Anyway, lovely outfit, and I love that Chloe bag.
STYLE VANITY
Author
Thank you Alyssa!
I’m so sorry about all that you deal with and all of your emotional scars! I love and admire your strength and courage! You’re beautiful inside and out! Ps… I wanna join your group… Where can I find it? Xoxo Carla (FashionMavenMommy.com)
Author
Love you Carla! I’ll message you soon 🙂
Thanks for opening up about your abuse. It’s still such a taboo in society, especially for young women and girls, so every person who speaks out about it is a voice for hundreds of others who are still too afraid. As for your thoughts on blogging/social media, I totally agree. I can definitely feel a little suffocated by the superficial aspect of being a beauty blogger – it’s very easy to pick out the girls who are clearly in it for the free products, money and followers when you meet them at events. Luckily, they are always a minority, but it does make the rest of us look bad!
I guess we all have to stay focused, positive and support the people who we connect with, and forget the rest. x
Author
Thank you Kat for your comment. It’s sometimes very isolated the more I learn and am exposed to. It means a lot that I’m not the only one who feels this way. I truly appreciate your support (from the very beginning!). It’s crazy, but I feel like we are friends and have been for a few years now :-p Thank you for always being there.